A daughter’s plea for help to fight her mother’s cancer
March 5, 2010
My Nanay, my mother has been the consistent influence through out my life. She is the one who made sure that I study in a private school from Grade 1 to Grade 6, then thru High School and my Engineering School Days. She did this with her modest salary as a seamstress in a Garment Factory owned by a Chinese National based in the Philippines. Alhtough my father brings home the bacon too, his priority is to either feed his drinking buddies or dole out to his own parents/siblings.
My mother is the one who really provided for my education, my food, and my clothes. Even when she lost her full-time job as a seamstress, she took part-time jobs from 3 other garment factories, just to sustain my education. Her devotion to me as her daughter probably put too much strain on her relathionship with my father or it could probably be the fact that my father was an alcoholic and was trying to find ways to justify his vice.
She insisted to sew my school uniforms, even if it is cheaper to buy from department stores, thinking that the quality will be much better if she sew it herself. And at that time, I dutifully and worshipfully respected her as my mother. Everything she says is like a nugget of wisdom for me. Her unconditional love to me was met with an equally strong devotion as a daughter. Our relationship as mother-daughter was special in the sense that we share the same birthday, 22 November. We have the same temperaments. My Tito and Tita, also told me that she was a very intelligent student (always top of the class)– I am an average student though, but the stories about her being top of her class, inspired me to be more diligent and smarter in studying. She only finished 2nd year in high-school, but she can carry a decent conversation about the state of affairs of the different countries in the world, simple medical conversations about the most common ailments and she reads novels of Dan Brown, Danielle Stelle.
Another thing I did not inherit from her, is her flare in the kitchen. Her consistent, loving way of preparing meals for the whole family, even if she was working full time, doing the laundry and also ironing our clothes for school. She also thought me compassion and in some way the personal gratification one gets in sacrificial giving (which other people find not logical). I also inherited a sense of pride from her. That pride of being independent and the integrity one finds in honest labor. That sense of being whole when you know you do not have to beg for your own food, clothing or other necessities in life. That sense of accomplishment when you are on the side of “GIVING” in the giving- receiving spectrum. For both of us, it is hard to ask for help and to be in that receiving end.
As for me, I think I have already received enough mothering from my mother. And although my parenting style could be entirely different from her, I still want her to impart her life, her goodness, her steadfastness, her intelligence, her industriousness to my child (Sans the her bad moods though). I still want her to live 20 years longer, to see my child celebrate her 18th Birthday and also her wedding day (all the things that I did not experience in my lifetime– I did not have an 18th Birthday party— and I guess I will never have a wedding day either).
I wanted her to live 20 years longer, so she can enjoy my father’s new way of showing his affections. My father now tries his best to serve my mother in his knees, as if trying to catch up those long lost years. 20 more years, to wipe out all the bitterness, all the sorrows that piled up in her heart. 20 more years to live to tell our story as a family—that no matter how much sufferring, no matter how much tears had already been shed, there is a time for reconcilation with God, reconcialiation with each family member, and restoration of our lives—to what God had planned it to be.
WITH YOUR HELP— throughout this time of CRISIS. SHE WOULD LIVe 20 or more YEARS to tell our story, — I am humbly pleading for your help to SAVE MY MOTHER. SAVE my FAMILY from losing our Dear NANAY. Let us FIGHT this ENEMY in my mother’s body. This might sound over bearing or taking advantage of acquaintances and friendships, but I guess if this is your mother and you are in the same situation (even if these are just consequences of my past mistakes)– you would do everything, not only to prolong your mother’s life but also let her enjoy the companionship, the rewarding relationships that she truly deserve.
2. It is my mother’s wish that she be treated here in Singapore, because the whole family is already here in Singapore and she does not want to destabilize her grandchild’s routine.
3. Knowing that her immune system will be compromised by chemo theraphy, she prefers to be treated here in Singapore (where air is cleaner and where hygiene standards are higher
4. My work here in Singapore pays for the bills
5. My CPF/Medisave Coverage for her Hospitalization, Diagnostic Tests, Cancer Treatments can only be used in Singapore Hospitals.
However, this does not cover specialits fees, professional fees, prosthetics, dental treatments (if radiation theraphy is required). So, all of my mother’s dental works will be done in the Philippines as it will be cheaper there.
6. We worked out the cost and compared apples to apples (chemo and radiation theraphy), it worked out to be the same cost(Philippines and Singapore)
7. Organic fruits and vegetables are cheaper and more readily available here in Singapore
How you can help?
1. Include her in your prayers
2. Visit her once in a while at home (if you want to bring something– organic veggies or fruits will be the best choice)
3. pray! pray for her!