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I want to be blessed

August 2, 2011

Me and my daughter (Zarah)

I want to bless myself by leaving home at exactly 8:15am (about the time that Zarah’s school bus fetches her), starting tomorrow. That means I have to be

– awake at 5am (prayers at 5:30am)
– finish my upside down coffee break and has taken a bath by 6am
– take my supplements and juices and dressed up at 7am, and spend time with Zarah between 7am to 8:15am.

I want to do it because I know it’s good for me.
I enjoy the time I spent with Zarah (help her in practicing her piano piece for about 10 minutes, then have breakfast with her and brush her teeth and then hugh/cuddle her while waiting for her school bus.

I envision being fully dressed by 8:15am, holding her hand and opening the gate and the door of the school bus, and then waving to her as I walk down the slope to my bus stop. I envision a pleasant commute from Upper Bukit Timah to Raffles Place (despite the crowd).

There are things that I dont enjoy at the moment such as the commute back to/from office and sometimes, I resent being in the office for a long time– but I know it is good for me that I am in the office. I should enjoy leaving home early and being at home early. I should be motivated to leave the office at exactly 6:30pm (even if the commute is bad- due to the peak hour crowd) so that I will be in bed at exactly 9:30pm.

Stage 1: I want to do it because I know it’s good for me. But I can’t imagine ever enjoying it.

Stage 2: I want to do it because I’ve made the commitment to myself and I don’t want to let myself down. I still don’t enjoy it but I do it.

Stage 3: I want to do it because it’s a part of my life now and I can’t imagine not doing it. It’s not really optional anymore. I have to do it or my day feels incomplete (desire).

God help me! I need to be blessed and accept blessing in order not just to “survive” and “thrive”, but to live as carefree as Zarah. How I wish I could be as child-like as as I used to be. Probably have to learn from Zarah.

Jesus lets this man speak out the things that are in his heart because he cares about him. “If you can do something,” the father says, “please help.” Jesus then takes it a step further: “I can do something, certainly. That is not the issue. The issue is, will you grow in faith?”

“I believe,”

the father responds, “help my unbelief.” What a magnificent statement! The Lord is patient and interested and gentle enough to allow this man to confess his hurt and to ask for help. Read more about Pride and Prayer here:


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