2012 Busier Year than ever
The year 2011 is very memorable to me, as this is the year wherein the Lord has pushed us beyond our comfort zones and brought us to our knees and deeper in prayer and meditation rather than just the outside show of faith..
Nanay also demonstrated her agreement to be part of a larger body of Christ.. by being baptised. This year I saw her change her bedtime books — from pocketbooks to 2 Bibles, a prayer journal and a book authored by Philip Yancey (Finding God in unexpected places). This year we also made a decision to change church, to one wherein our convictions are shared by other members (that worship need not be noisy and accompanied by drums). We keep our spiritual connection with our family group members though.. as Nanay feels incomplete without our Saturday night Bible studies with them. I am really pleased as I dont have to stand in the gap for Nanay anymore, that I dont have to quit my job, in order that I can always be by her side, and guard her spiritually and physically, she now have her own spiritual line to God (prayers and meditation)…she now know how dial God’s iphone number, If I am pleased, then I am sure the Lord is pleased multiple times over..
Nanay maintains her health still by juicing and coffee enema, lots of hugs from her grandchildren and prayers/intercessions by our family group members…
Just noticed that I have had a few commenters since October.. and some loyal followers too (I never thought that people would be interested).. I use this blog to destress and also to collate my thoughts and perhaps get some feedback or review..
I was not able to update this blog during the last quarter of 2011 due to lots of changes at work. As you know the European economy is in turmoil.. and the bank that am working for is actually a European bank. During the last few months, I was literally just working myself off– trying to be of real value to the bank, playing the game as fair as possible.. As you know when companies are in bad shape, people get very stressed about job security and all. We saw a lot of people having to go away as part of the redundancies.. each day I have to pray for each one of them and also to pray for my own job security — as my family depends on me..
In the last few weeks: I have seen 4 people go either because they resigned in haste (quitting under pressure) or they were made redundant.. I prayed that Lord will put it in their hearts to seek Him at this junction in their lives.. that whatever bad that happened to them, they allow God to turn it for good, the way He did it for me several years back. Ironically, the night I prayed that prayer, I met my ex-boss – the one who made me redundant in Year 2006.. and its so ironic that I was so glad to see him and his wife and genuinely wanted to hug him. I told my Nanay about this encounter, and she said, she is still angry with that ex-boss of mine for making me redundant at a time when I needed the job most (Zarah was only 2 months old then– and he knows that I am a single mom)… well again, I was really glad to see him, not to make him see how far I have come since then.. but just because I really missed him and his wife.. I used to see them both as mentors.., that they have to cut that emotional connection (like letting go of me in an ocean without a raft).. in order for me to swim on my own.. I was happy to see them to let them know.. they dont have to be guilty anymore.. we are all good! he had to do what he had to do to keep his own job secure.. and he had to do it to remove me from my comfort zone.. or God used him to remove me from my comfort zone and depend only on GOd for provisions for me and my family. Now to Him and only Him I trust the well being of myself and my family.
The grace of the Lord, keeps pulling me through each step of the way.. am not saying the I will be immune to anything bad that could happen.. but I know that God is still in control.. that He will keep me where exactly He wanted me to be (the only question is where and up to when).. at times when I cannot even pray or medidate.. I just whisper a short prayer.. Lord , I know You are in control.. bring me help please…I just dont know where to turn….
There are times, when I cannot sleep– and even have to pray for sleep, so I can be in a better shape the next day to face the challenges of the day.. and yes, He did… each night He gives me the peace that I need in order for me to sleep and get going again the next day…
For some reason, I can relate to King David (a biblical character).. it was in King David’s heart to build a temple for the Lord.. but during his reign, he was not able to do so.. as he was busy protecting and fighting for his kingdom.. and the Lord protected King David and gave him wisdom and riches to continue what he needs to do to protect and fight for his kingdom.. and probably when King David is under tremendous pressure and stress (due to politicking, backbiting and just the sheer of pressure of winning at all cost and the consequences of his past sins)…he would sing praises to the Lord (Book of Psalms), just pour his heart out… that’s why he was able to be steadfast and firm with dignity and honor… the Lord also promised him, that his son, Solomon (born out of disgrace), will continue what he started, and build the temple for the Lord.. and King Solomon actually did build the temple for the Lord.. according to his father’s wishes..
God’s message for me today: (as per my morning medidation)
1 Corinthians 15:58
Be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as ye know that your Labor is not in vain in the Lord..
My interpretation of this is:
Be on your guard (against evil), stand firm (in your convictions), be a person of courage (speak out for what’s right), Be strong (don’t quit under pressure), Exercise your faith, in these ways watch yourself grow.