Zarah’s first Yamaha Junior Course Recital and a very peaceful weekend

Yesterday was Zarah’s first Recital (signalling the end of the 1st 2 terms of a 2 year Yamaha Junior Course). We decided to choose an easier piece for her first recital so she will have a sense of accomplishment rather than a fear of failing. We practiced a more challenging piece first wherein she have to use both her left and right hand, but we used the easier piece (using only her right hand) for the recital. She also sang and danced her heart out during the group presentations. What can I say? I am extremely proud of her. Nanay cant help smiling too.

Nanay said she was listening to us even during our practice while she was in the kitchen, she said she is extremely happy to hear us sing together and to hear Zarah playing on her own.

This weekend has been extremely peaceful. Zarah has chosen to eat lots of fruits (apples, bananas and grapes) and juices (carrot & apple or watermelon) in exchange to her cookies and potato chips and Milo. She has been extremely cooperative when I brush her teeth while lying on the sofa, paying extra attention to her cavities, using my home made tooth paste (made of claymin and papain) and her baking soda water mouth wash.

Every morning I bring her to the playground and played catch or our own version of football. Its a good way to start exercising again. Nanay preferred to stay at home in the morning so she can do her coffee enema at peace. At night time, we would have our usual routine of giggling, tickling and reading her books aloud until she ran out of energy and sleep. She usually sleeps at 7pm, but whenever I am home, she sleeps at about 8pm, as our routine (of brushing her teeth, playing and reading) takes about an hour.

Maybe I should change my working times again, so that I can be home before 6pm during weekdays. Last Friday, one of my superiors saw me working at the office at about 9:30pm and told me, I should go home early for my daughter. I explained to her that I usually come in late to the office as I spend time with my daughter in the morning, as even if I leave the office at 6pm, she would already be asleep when I get home (7:30pm). She reasoned that I could talk to my line manager so I can adjust my working time so I can continue to work at home at night when Zarah is asleep. Good suggestion!

I realized also that I really cannot leave Nanay to keep to her schedule of taking her supplements, last Friday, she was dizzy as she thought she must have taken too much of something and less of another. So, back to the game board and took her pill box again and reminded her which supplements should be taken on empty stomach and which ones have to be taken during a meal or after a meal.

She has been reading a lot about mercury poisoning lately as well as autism and was irritated when I told her that maybe its true that I have autistic tendencies. She said she was only joking and she do not want to ever suggest to anyone or admit that I have autistic tendencies (Asperger’s syndrome), regardless if it was the high funtioning kind of autism. I told her we must know what makes me feel what I am feeling all these years, so we would be able to address it. I have learned to control a lot of my tendencies and learned to adapt to many people so much so that one of my colleagues told me that she cannot figure me out. She is an HR Specialist who categories most people using the DISC profile (Dominant, Influential, S, Compliant). My line manager thought I fit into the influential profile, my Malay colleague thought I am Compliant. My brother things I am dominant. But my HR Specialist colleague said she cannot figure me out. And I told her I am not surprised as I have learned to adapt to different personalities because of my experience and I have learned much of it the hard way. Most of my office mates think that I am useful to them and pleasant to work with. But a few years back, most people think I was too intensed and that I tend to be over dominating.

Today, Nanay asked me what are the changes in me after my mercury amalgam removal. I told her, I am more “grounded” now, and that it seems my frozen shoulder and liver/gall bladder attacks are gone for good. But I cannot really say that it is because of the amalgam removal, because I have done a lot of changes in my lifestyle lately (eating well, accupuncture, epsom salt bath, oil pulling, taking care of myself and Zarah well). It seems I am now less guilty of not being the go-getter person that I used to be. I am not worried anymore, that it seems I have lost my usual passion and intensity in living life to the full. It seems finally, I am now comfortable of just being me and letting it be. That even if I do not accomplish grand goals in life such as leading a charity organization or managing a bigger team, I would be fine, people would still respect me and love me. That even if brushing my daughter’s teeth 2x a day, reading/playing with her, and reminding my mother to take her supplements and not being too tied up if the house is a mess — are already signs of success– that I do not have to be a perfect Christian, I do not have to be a perfect daughter or mother or citizen or employee… it is FINE.. just FINE.