Start Here
Pic taken last July 2016 at the “farm” somewhere in Northern Philippines (this was before we started soil preparation ). This is the image of her that I wanted to keep in my head that she is happy that I have started living my dreams. Rest well Nanay! Rest in Peace! I will see you again in God’s perfect time.
My mother Nanay Miriam Francisco fought valiantly against cancer — most women with the same diagnosis did not survive the 2 year mark. But she survived for 7 years. As an advocate of holistic theraphies, we have succeeded in almost all areas, except for SLEEP and RELATIONSHIPS. My mother have deep seated inner child wounds that only came to surface when we had the first and major disagreement that lasted for months and that culminated to her death this year.. As a way of showing her disagreement with me — she stopped doing any of the holistic protocols in this blog.
Psalm 127:2 “It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.”
And I must also admit that I was not able to handle the disagreements very well due to burn out and my own inner child wounds. Two wounded souls enmeshed with each other succumbed to pressure and forgiving ourselves and seeing the rest of humanity from the lenses of a daughter who mothered her mother and now is mothering her own inner child, I would like to start a new blog chronicling my own self healing.
Here is a summary of our journey from 2009 to 2016:
Diagnosis:
https://nanaymiriam.wordpress.com/category/diagnosis/page/4/
Remission:
Treatments:
Diet:
Environment:
Unresolved Conflicts:
A summary of incidents prior to her death
Last June 2016, I took a sabbatical from work due to burn out – which was met with much resistance from my mother and the rest of my family (father and brother) My intention was to live in a farm for 6 months on my 3 months salary (low cost as possible) — so that I could take a 40 day juice fast with my mother, while home schooling my mother and working in the farm. And then hopefully, live on raw food for 5 months. It just happened that there were some personal issues that I also have to deal with at the same time, which should have not affected my mother — but it did anyway.
August 2016, my brother took control of her care and brought her to UST Hospital for an MRI. She have been going through eye specialists for sometime – the diagnosis was early stage catarata. The MRI showed a growth under her nose, which went under her eye and to her forehead. A biopsy confirmed that it is a another primary cancer. What does it mean by another primary cancer? It means its a new cancer– its not a mestatasis of her original breast cancer.
As preparation for surgery, she was sent for battery of tests, including a chest xray, which shows “growths on her lungs” – which is a sign that her breast cancer had mestastasised to her lungs (a natural progression of breast cancer). Didnt I say, that there is no cure yet for cancer? The only difference is how fast it could progress or mestasise if not managed properly. It is also a well know fact that the most common “exit point” or cause of death for patients with breast – lung cancer, is pneumonia due to lowered immune system. My mother actually survived pneumonia — we used a special kind of oil to manage this, but her lungs gave up on 9th November 2016.
Could we have prevented this early death? Could we have prolonged her life if we have managed our disagreements better? I guess we could have. But its too late to talk about could have beens and should have beens. We just have to learn from the experience and learn how to be better at handling relationships with or without disagreements in the future. Learn how to heal our own inner wounds so that we can better love ourselves and then others.
Grief and bereavement apparently hits us in different ways. Mine is a bit different from others — and to be consistent with the honesty of this blog.. my grief is coupled with relief. Relief that finally my mother and I are now FREE from each other and that she is no longer suffering and not in pain. Grief because we learned a part of ourselves also have died with the passing of our love ones. Anger and resentment because we are still alive to deal with the unresolved conflicts and pains of our past. Bitterness because we cant seemt to find a way out of this anger and resentment without blaming others.
Fear of still being trapped in this web of pain and suffering. Fear that maybe she was right all along — that I cannot survive without her. That there is no one else who can love me the way she loved me. That only a mother – could tolerate me. Fear that I am not a good parent to my daughter — that I will be destroying her life because am not ” as perfect” as my mother. But with that fear comes with a sense of elation of finally being free to live my own life and prove to myself that I too can survive and be a good mother to my child in my own imperfect way. That I could be loved JUST AS I AM. That I do not have to change myself to be loved. All I have to do is believe that I am lovable just the way I am.
And perhaps my advocacy for Breast Cancer Prevention — begins where my mother’s life ends.. There is no better cure than PREVENTION. Once you have cancer, its just a matter of time. I have to accept my own limitations and pat myself in the shoulder for doing the things I have done for 7 years for my mother — and then forgive myself for the things I have not done for the last 4 months and for the things I have done to stand up for myself.
If you are interested to follow my self journey to inner healing, please email me at nanay@live.com.sg
In order to heal, healing must be more important
than having control over others or over the outcome of things.
* * * * *
In order to heal, healing must more important
than feeling safe from abandonment, rejection, failure.
* * * * *
In order to heal, healing must be more important
than whether or not you are controlled by others.
* * * * *
In order to heal, healing must be more important than money.
* * * * *
In order to heal, being a loving human being
must be your whole purpose for being
and you must be willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
* * * * *
Willingness, therefore, is the first step.
Moringa Powder for Sale (S$50sgd per 1kg)
Help us: sharing our story
Please help us reach out to as many women as possible who already have breast cancer or have family members who have breast cancer. Every year millions of children are orphaned prematurely, through this blog we aim to share how my mother managed to survive for 7 years through holistic lifestyle mdification. We just need help in covering part of the cost of the documentary. As an advocate for my mother the past 7 years, this is the best I can do to help other advocates to help their family members through this cancer journey.
All we need is $750 USD for rebranding the blog and $1,200 for simple video recording and editing gear. Through this, you will not just be helping us but also thousands if not million lives that we aim to reach out to.
Clink the link below for more details
New blog : http://Nanaysjuicefast.com
Please support by following and signing up
http://nanaysjuicefast.com/2016/06/16/health-habits-filipinos-vs-singaporeans/
3 Month Sabbatical
The traffic to this site have been booming the last 2 years despite the lack of organization and new posts!
Good News! I will be on 3 Month work sabbatical from July – September 2016.
I will be doing the 40 day Breuss juice fast, the way Nanay did it and will document it with a daily vlog while writing a book about my experience and nanay’s experience 7 years ago.
Our youtube channel is still nanaymiriam! watch out for easy to digest contents!
Protected: REVIEW: PARTRIDGE PUBLISHING
How do you want to be rewarded if you help us raise funds for our moringa urban farm?
Nanay have been giving away moringa cuttings and seedlings for a while now< and she have tended the plants and entertained calls and queries as and when she can manage it on top of everything else that needs to be done during the day> eg cook< clean wash laundry and also take care of my daughter> we have come to a point that we thought we should hire a maid so that nanay can do the things she love> besides she is already 64 years old now> in order to afford hiring a maid we have to make both ends meet and have extra money to pay the maid>> so we thought since there is a need for local source of moringa plant and moringa powder__ why don”t we start a micro farm>>> an urban farm with moringa as a cash crop>> nanay cant do it all< most of all we wanted to make this as a gift a realization of a dream> she have dreamed of a vegetable garden all her life>> but we just have to be realistic and just probably have to start with a cash crop for now in order to make this sustainable> our cash crop would of course be the moringa__ this way we can satisfy the needs of our local readers and followers and perhaps even reach a wider market>>>
this is our vision:
photo is from edible garden city their vision of an edible garden city is our vision and dream too
so_ you might ask__ how am I going to fund this>> well there is a not so new concept called equity crowdfunding>>>but ours would not offer equity> now this is called rewards based crowdfunding
examples:
If you give $5 sgd, you will be rewarded with 5 moringa seeds (when the tree matures, bears fruit or pods) or you will get a branch/cutting or 3 bunches of moringa leaves (the type you can buy from the store) or a package of moringa tea
If you give $10 sgd, you will get a 10 week old seedling or a 10 week old plant grown from cuttings
If you give $35 sgd, you will get a fully mature plant which you can harvest from ( its usually a 3 -5 month old plant) or 1 kg of moringa powder
If you give $50 sgd, you can get rewards a, b and c
If you give $ 300 sgd, you can get rewards a, b and c plus unlimited support (via email and phone calls on how to tend your moringa plant until you become a full pledged moringa urban farmer yourself)
how do you want to be rewarded if you help us raise funds for our moringa urban farm?
Discoid Meniscus — and a Tear in the meniscus
So, the orthopaedic surgeon’s initial diagnosis was right. According to the MRI, I indeed have a meniscus tear. But its very small– which normal would heal on its own and would not require surgery.
However, I have an knee abnormality called Discoid Meniscus, which usually does not present a problem until an injury happens. People who have Discoid Meniscus like me, who experience a tear/injury usually does not heal as fast as someone who have normal meniscus.
But the Dr said he would try a conservative approach, so he gave me a cortisone injection and 6 weeks of herbal supplementation (boswellia, turmeric and ginger). He also suggested rest, ice pack and elevation of the leg as frequently as possible. If the tear wont heal in 6 weeks, he said he will have to offer surgery.
So here is my plan
1. continue with my pain management approach – prayers, castor oil packs, ice pack (if its untolerable and I need to walk/work)…ginger compress and olive oil/frankincense oil massage, soaking leg in Epsom salt, breathing exercises
2. for healing to take place– I would follow Barefoot Herbalist advice.. rub cayenne pepper on affected area and put BF&C on it (I still have the liquid formula and would soon be ordering the salve (external) and the powder/capsule formula (internal)
3. will also take the herbal supplements that the Orthopedic Surgeon gave to me (at least this one is insurance claimable)..
SO my mother asked, how did I get it? I said I don’t know.. here is what Mr. Google have to say..
Discoid Meniscus
Every knee has a medial and lateral meniscus which are C-shaped pieces of fibrocartilage that absorb stress and act as cushions between the bones at the knee. At birth, the meniscus is not C-shaped, but discoid (round like a discus).
With growth and walking, the discoid meniscus evolves into its normal C-shape. In some children, the lateral meniscus continues to stay discoid with growth. The incidence is approximately 3-5% of the population
So I am part of that 3-5% of the population who have a discoid meniscus.. it seems that I have a lot of muscoskeletal issues, 1. scoliosis of the thoracic spine 2. overpronation of the feet 3. discoid meniscus..all of which are non-life treathening but sure affects my quality of life.
Respect and Admiration!! This Woman Deserves it!
her daily attire is consistent.. dark suit and pants (and white shirt or black turtle neck) and elegant low heeled pumps!! (does not draw attention to herself– she is beautiful but you will be drawn to her not because of her beauty.. but because of her eloquence, her heart.. her deep passionate voice!! I like her!… most of all although she still supports the medical industry.. she is a vegetarian, drinks green juice in the morning.. and this is what she have to say about her the WHYs– the vision of her company
The fact that Theranos’s technology uses such microscopic amounts of blood should eventually allow physicians far greater latitude when ordering so-called reflex tests than they have previously enjoyed. With reflex testing, the physician specifies that if a certain test comes up abnormal, the lab should immediately perform follow-up tests on the same sample to pinpoint the cause of the abnormality. Reflex testing saves patients the time, inconvenience, cost, and pain of return doctor visits and additional blood draws.
The results of Theranos’s tests are available within hours–often matching the speed of emergency “stat” labs today, though stat labs, which are highly inefficient, can usually perform only a limited menu of maybe 40 tests.
Most important, Theranos tests cost less. Its prices are often a half to a quarter of what independent labs charge, and a quarter to a 10th of what hospital labs bill, with still greater savings for expensive procedures. Such pricing represents a potential godsend for the uninsured, the insured with high deductibles, insurers, and taxpayers. The company’s prices are set to never exceed half the Medicare reimbursement rate for each procedure, a fact that, with widespread adoption, could save the nation billions. The company also posts its prices online, a seemingly obvious service to consumers, but one that is revolutionary in the notoriously opaque, arbitrary, and disingenuous world of contemporary health care pricing.
ITBS? Meniscus Tear?
So the pain on the side of my left knee (extending to my hip and lower back) is still there.. the pain and tightness lessened after a series of physio therapy sessions (2x a week) and yoga sessions once a week and applying Barefoot Herbalist’s BF&C (Bone, Flesh & Cartilage) Formula directly into my left knee and surrounding muscles.
I would have been patient with the slow progress (anyway even soft tissue injuries take minimum of 6 weeks to heal), however friends, family and office mates are not.. they are extra worried about me limping my way to work and back home. Some would just say ” Rest, stay still!”… some say keep stretching etc.. a lot of conflicting opinions among friends and families and even with different health care practitioners (physiotherapists, orthopaedic surgeon, vascular surgeon etc..)
One thing I do know,,, is the cause of my ordeal.. 1 over pronation of my feet, my scoliosis causing spine, neck, hip misalignment… constipation.. and over strained adrenals.. so many things to say and write.. just not in a very good mood to write..
But one thing I would like to share is this.. I went to an orthopaedic surgeon who ordered MRI for me (thank God its not Xray).. I needed the MRI so I could charge the cost of chiropractic adjustments, physio/ostheopath/kinesiologist sessions to my insurance. And this orthopaedic surgeon suspects I have Meniscus Tear.. when all other specialists suspects ITB Syndrome.. while the GP says it could osteoarthritis caused by wear and tear due to gait/weight, and imbalanced hip — as my left leg is longer.
Anyway, this surgeon gave me 2 weeks worth of Anti-arthritis medicine which can cause GI bleeding and ulcer, so the anti-arthritis medicine comes along with another medicine to prevent ulcer/GI bleeding. Oh did I mention that the anti-A medicine is contra indicated for those who have liver/gallbladder issues. The Kneed surgeon, didnt even ask me…they only asked me if I have high-blood pressure (which I dont historically, but lately I had high-blood pressure which is probably due to pain)…the anti-A medicine causes high blood pressure that may even lead to heart attack.
Makes me wonder– maybe this is the reason why a lot of people who had knee injury develop DVT later on.. 1. the injury causes bad circulation on the leg 2. the medicines causes high blood pressure and clotting…
Anyway, to cut the story short.. the medicines went into my drawer again (just like the NSAIDS given to me by the GP).. yeah I manage my pain on my own via careful exercise and self massage. ID rather feel the pain and know where the injury is (pain are warning signals– turn off the warning signals—it doesnt turn off the danger).. the danger had to be put off not the warning signals.
http://curezone.com/forums/am.asp?i=808108
knee hurts, fallen arches, trouble standing for a long time, standing on one leg all day long (which is the reason why my back hurts)==>these are my issues ever since even before this injury.. so regardless if the MRI shows ITBS, Meniscus Tear or ostheoarthritis– I have to do something about my feet
In Summary:
pain management – massage, castor oil packs, soaking in hot water with epsom salts, physio therapy 2x a week
anti-arthritis/anti-inflammation – Curcumin supplement/ tumeric tea and BF&C liquid (taken internally and also rubbed on the site of injury and surrounding muscles)
Healing slowly but surely– with the belief that I am making improvements holistically (these pains are pains I have been feeling since I was in high school at the time my scoliosis and my over pronation was diagnosed.. but I decided to ignore to focus on “more important” things.. e.g studies, getting a part time job.. then in my late 20’s when I had the chance to focus on myself again—started feeling these pains again..so I exercised. ate healthy, went to chiro sessions and then “forgot” about it in my early to mid thirties (child birth, work issues and my mother’s cancer).. there are always other important things that takes priority over my health issues..
I guess this time– I have to nip it in the bud. I am not getting any younger. I would not be effective as a daughter, mother and worker/leader/teacher if my health is not ideal.
One thing I know, most of us (like 99% of the population) have misaligned atlas (c1 vertebrae, the top of the spine right below the skull). One sure sign to tell is uneven hips (one hip higher than other, causing one leg to appear shorter than another) without anything structurally wrong with the hips or legs. This can cause all kinds of back pains and pinched nerves. In the last 3 days, I have re-aligned 4 people with uneven hips with a reflexology technique that I just learned. If you think this might be your problem, this could be something that’s worth looking into.
A good chiro can save the day, and I have heard many amazing testimonies from friends that I trust. But I am more about getting to the bottom of the problem. Bones don’t move by themselves. They are pulled or pushed out of place by muscles. Muscles don’t move without nerve impulses. And why are there nerve impulses causing the muscles to pull and push bones out of place? Is that because of poor posture? Repetitive stress? Accident related? Unbalanced nutrition? Unbalanced meridians? Misaligned chakras? There are many questions to be pondered upon.
One of my Christian office mates reminded me to read and meditate on Psalm 91 tonight..
Psalm 91 New King James Version (NKJV)
Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God
91 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
4 He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
5 You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
6 Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
8 Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.
9 Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
12 In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
13 You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.
14 “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”
Nanay Miriam's "re-MISSION" 